AmaOur grandmother, Hung Chan Lee Tze, or “Ama”, was an incredibly fierce yet playful woman whose love for us was unmatched. She was born in China in the 1920’s and married our grandfather in 1941. Our grandfather worked in a factory in the Philippines, sending money back home to China for Ama to support herself. When World War II broke out, maritime connections between China and Southeast Asia were halted, leaving millions of Chinese suddenly impoverished, including Ama because the money that our grandfather sent could no longer reach her. She sold all her jewelry and belongings just to get by, destitute and alone. When the Communists took over and started persecuting capitalist families, Ama had to flee. Our grandfather started getting her paperwork in order for her to immigrate to the Philippines, but it would take a long time. Rather than wait, she entered Hong Kong as a refugee, took a boat to the Philippines, and was arrested upon arrival. She and her infant son, our father, were held in a women’s prison, surrounded by strangers and unable to speak the language. Ama’s savior was a Jesuit missionary who had also fled China for the Philippines. He proselytized in the prisons and met Ama. He, intrigued by this woman and infant, and she, desperate for someone who could communicate in Chinese, talked regularly. She said that if she was released, she would become a devout Catholic – which she was for the rest of her life. The priest’s appeals to the immigration board, coupled with the long-awaited paperwork, finally secured her release. This strong and steadfast woman lived on to experience economic hardship and success, have three daughters, and eventually immigrate to the United States. What we, her granddaughters, didn’t know until after she passed away, is that my father had an older brother. He starved to death as a young child during the war. The overwhelming amount of cooking and feeding that characterized her, the trait that we took for granted as an Asian grandma-thing, moved sharply into focus when we discovered this. Our hearts still break over the desperation and grief she must have felt, and how she spent the rest of her life making sure none of us would ever go hungry. Despite this sadness she held inside, what we remember most was how playful and loving she was. Some of our fondest childhood memories are of her chasing us around the house, threatening to tickle us or gnaw on our limbs, while we shrieked with laughter and terror. Or of her telling us of what it was like to potty-train us, from pooping in corners and running away, to falling asleep on the toilet, to changing our own diapers (the stories still make us laugh.) We are unbelievably blessed to have this amazing woman shape our lives and legacy. To us, her name signifies the strength, love, and generosity with which she lived her life and persevered through loss. Ama, we love and miss you so, so much.
Honored by Christine, Jennifer, Priscilla and Irene |
